I just checked my account with George Washington to see when I should expect my tuition refund and it turns out I have been given a $3,000 University Graduate Award, presumably based on my grades last year. I wonder when they were going to tell me. All hail free money!

On top of that little surprise, I get to pick up my refund check next week just in time to square away my debts with Dave, payoff the balance on my highest interest rate credit card, and buy a new laptop.

Oh, and now we’re definitely throwing a party next weekend and you’re all invited!!!

A judge in Polk County, Iowa struck down that state’s ban on same-sex marriage today. Judge Robert Hanson ruled the state’s prohibition of same-sex marriage is unconstitutional. He ordered the county’s recorder to begin issuing marriage licenses to the six same-sex couples who were plaintiffs in the case.

Same-sex couples from anywhere in Iowa can now apply for a marriage license from Polk County, though the process takes three days. Polk County will appeal to the Iowa Supreme Court and Polk County Attorney John Sarcone will seek a stay from Judge Hanson, which would prevent anyone from seeking a marriage license until an appeal could be heard.

Judge Hanson ruled the state law limiting marriage only to a man and a woman violates the constitutional rights of due process and equal protection. “Couples, such as plaintiffs, who are otherwise qualified to marry one another may not be denied licenses to marry or certificates of marriage or in any other way prevented from entering into a civil marriage… by reason of the fact that both person comprising such a couple are of the same sex,” he said. Further, the law banning same-sex marriage must be stricken from the books and the state’s marriage laws “must be read and applied in a gender neutral manner so as to permit same-sex couples to enter into a civil marriage…”

Wow, someone finally uses the gender discrimination angle…and what do you know it works!

Update: Not a damn thing about this on Drudge or Fox News. Figure that omission out for yourselves. Not on this year’s messaging agenda, perhaps?

To his arresting officer: “I’m not gay; I don’t do that sort of thing!”

Mr. Craig, I think the gay community would appreciate it if you didn’t go around implying that a standard activity among them is hooking up with strangers in airport bathrooms. Yes, homosexual desires are necessary for that kind of reckless activity, but so are a lack of class and an utter detachment from hygenic reality. And let’s not get started on your lack of concern for your wife’s health!

To the media: “I have never been gay.”

Never been? Either that is a classic misunderstanding of the physiological and permanent aspects of human sexuality or a genius public relations-inspired moment of playing dumb. Does Craig honestly believe that homosexuality exists in some sort of flux that allows a person to “suffer” from it at odd points in his or her life?

I give him 6 days before the tearful public confession and requisite trip to rehab. Let’s start a pool. Any takers?

Addendum/Disclaimer: It’s interesting that a United States Senator pleaded guilty to a crime of a sexual nature two months ago and the paperwork was filed in public courts by a taxpayer funded adjudicator, but the story somehow stayed completely secret until the exact day that the leaders of his party needed to distract America from the shame it faced in finally conceding defeat and firing a radioactive attorney general. “Interesting” is the only word I feel I can use here, and I hate to give so much attention to this story rather than the more important one (Gonzo heading for sworn testimony or an ankle bracelet), but it’s just so juicy!

It came to light today that Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June at a Minnesota airport. Guess what for…

Here’s a hint: Senator Craig’s record includes voting for a constitutional ban of same-sex marriage, against adding sexual orientation to the federal definition of hate crimes, and against prohibiting job discrimination based on sexual orientation. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

His spokesperson described the incident as a “he said/he said misunderstanding.” At one point during the interview–presumably in an effort to persuade law enforcement to cover up the story–Craig handed the sergeant who arrested him a business card that identified him as a U.S. Senator and said, “What do you think about that?” D-bag alert!

Below is a detailed account of what happened, taken from a police report obtained by Roll Call. “He said/he said misunderstanding” or clear-cut case of closeted kook crazed for commode copulation? YOU decide!

(more…)

I don’t update this thing at work. Unfortunately, that means I end up way behind the big stories and lose out on all those AOL and CNN blogosphere hits. But yay on Gonzo going gone-gone. Gonzo, Turd Blossom…who’s next? Cheney? Who’s left? Cheney?

My thinking is that this is the time when Bush and Co. are attempting to finish out their administration with some positive vibes (and avoid the “lame duck” label for as long as they can). In order to secure a less-than-horrific legacy for himself, the team probably thinks it wise to abandon the Dark Lords and throw a White House wedding. Anyone else think it convenient that the Jenna story broke right as Karl Rove announced he was leaving?

So a wedding, maybe the end of the war (forced upon him by an increasingly alienated GOP), an unvetoed minimum wage increase (here, have a cookie)…what else can he really do to turn this sinking ship towards the shore?

Btw, Comic Book Guy’s real name is Jeff Albertson; thus saith “The Simpsons” episode we watched tonight. I’m sharing because I figured that little random nugget might lessen the depression you must feel every time I remind you all that the past six years actually happened.

Besides the obvious reasons, like the fact that television is an utterly passive experience (therefore offering only fleeting pseudo-stimulation) and that today’s quick cut style of editing desensitizes kids into a state of boredom by anything in life that isn’t exciting and fast-paced, studies continue to find that television is nothing but harmful to children under 2.

The names of so-called “educational” videos for infants suggest one thing (“Baby Einstein, etc.), but the data suggest otherwise. According to a 2005 report by the Kaiser Family Foundation, no program targeting children younger than 2 has demonstrated any educational benefits. That was two years ago!

Other studies of baby viewers found that television under age three may be harmful to a child’s cognitive development. Children who watch TV before age 3 score worse on tests of letter and number recognition upon entering school than those who do not watch, and for each hour of television a child watches per day before age 3, the chances that he will have attention problems at age 7 increase by 10 percent. Another 2005 study, this one from the University of Pennsylvania, found that even watching “Sesame Street” before age 3 delayed a child’s ability to develop language skills.

A study out just this month found that “parents hoping to raise baby Einsteins by using infant educational videos are actually creating baby Homer Simpsons, according to a new study released today. For every hour a day that babies 8 to 16 months old were shown such popular series as “Brainy Baby” or “Baby Einstein,” they knew six to eight fewer words than other children, the study found.”

FYI, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no television for children under 24 months. Kids who watch TV too early will live their lives bored by slow-moving experiences, such as books, classes, lectures, symposia, et al. Turning your child away from television and towards more intellectually stimulating (and less passive) activity NOW will only help him succeed in a world where the untapped value of learning is increasingly viewed in hindsight with regret by people who chose not to see it when they had the chance.

Remember semi-serious trophies, as if the awards weren’t just made up like at the MTV Movie Awards (see “Best Triple Threat,” a new category at this year VMAs)?

Remember when there seemed to be an air of importance in the ceremony as a publicity vehicle for popular and/or important artists, even turning out performances by the likes of Prince, Madonna, Michael Jackson, U2, and Neil Young? It doesn’t look like there’s a single headliner at this year’s show. Maybe Kanye…maybe. Timbaland’s the maestro for the night, and he’s certainly respectable (though my parents don’t know who he is). Fall Out Boy’s not ready yet. And the friggin’ Foo Fighters should just retire already. The minute you go out there telling people that HIV doesn’t cause AIDS, you lose me.

T-Pain? Cee-Lo? Common? Lil Wayne? Remember when artists with names like these all performed in one all-encompassing hip-hop medley to get the flash-in-the-pan element out of the way for the real artists? No offense hip-hop community, but I don’t see any of these guys being cited in twenty years as major influences.

I’m excited to see Daniel Merriweather perform, though. I’m also curious to see if Amy Winehouse will actually make it to the show and if so will she be all bloody onstage. A hypodermic hanging out of her forearm would be a nice touch.

Where did all the legends go? The real ones, I mean. Let’s not kiss the same asses we do every three years at this show. The Red Hot Chilli Peppers don’t need to get up there and soil the place with Kiedis’ perpetually flat stage vocals this year.

Anyways, it could be a barely adequate show on September 9. Or “adequite” as Miss Lohan might txt her manager and accidentally BCC half of Hollywood. Enjoy the trainwreck, America, but enjoy it from a distance.

So Powerball is at $300 million and Megamillions is at $250 million right now. That’s $550 million up for grabs and both games are available within a 4 mile radius of my apartment.

You can imagine the dilemma facing my middle and working class brethren neighbors who believe that success is getting out of this building and not having to work for a living. Who believe that the key to happiness during their short stay on this planet comes from DVDs and iPods and spending $20 a week on scratch tickets, mortgaging their future liquidity with pie in the sky dreams. Who believe the only way they can achieve peace of mind is to get-rich-quick their way out of the ghetto. Who believe that accomplishment can only come for them through athletics, reality TV, or a record deal…

So what numbers do you think I should play?

I’d installed some stuff to allow people to see if someone had replied to their comments via email, but it was fudging with my other code. Should be a pretty open forum now (for spam comments), so make the most of it!

Drudge, CNN, and even Perez Hilton are all saying that Castro has died, that an announcement is imminent, and that Miami officials have requested it be held until after rush hour because that city is totally going to erupt with impromptu parades when word hits. You heard it here fourth, folks!

It’s a shame our military is so overextended. It would probably only take a couple thousand peacekeepers entering the country with mostly unloaded weapons to help transition it into democracy and open up to the world’s marketplace once the people were confident that the dictator was out of the picture.

I don’t imagine his brother, Raul, who has been in power as an interim for the last year, will really be able to hold things together once his brother’s death shatters the symbolic hold he’s had on that nation for the last 50 years.

We bought a new TV on Sunday since our old, 27″ cathode-ray-tube unit was being screwy for the last six months. It’s a summer splurge, but hear me out.

We bought a 40-inch Samsung LCD 1080P HD TV.

My. God. In. Heaven. Above.

I seriously can’t turn away. Yesterday I came home from work, turned it on and sat here on the couch until bed. This is in stark contrast to the last few months of not watching much television at all. The Best Buy reward points will help offset $30 of it, leaving only a measly $1469 pre-tax price tag (split two ways, of course). But you know what?

Worth it!