We are back in DC and ready to tackle the party atmosphere the nation’s capital has to offer to celebrate the death of a bittersweet year and welcome the most anticipated new year since 2000. To those of you who have contacted me in the last few days, I apologize for my delinquency. You will hear from me in the new year…meaning tomorrow. For now, I need a drink so bad. Like, BAAAAAD.

So now that Ms. Bhutto has been assassinated, a la Archduke Franz Ferdinand in 1914, it looks like civil unrest is going to increase in Pakistan and probably spill into Afghanistan. From there, I can only imagine a diplomatic intervention by India. The U.S. is currently engaged in Afghanistan and “partners” with Pakistan. Yada yada yada…Russia, China, Iran, Israel, Syria, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, and, oh yeah, Iraq. Is there a “there” there? Let’s not forget Turkey invaded Iraq again last week.

Grab the popcorn and your body armor.

Yet another repackaging of a Michael Jackson classic, “Thriller 25″ will be out on February 12, 2008.

“The Girl Is Mine 2008″ featuring Will.i.Am (and now without Paul McCartney’s vocals) will hit radio in the next week and should be available for download around January 15. It’s not bad actually. I’m pleasantly surprised.

“Beat It 2008″ absolutely mangles the original, with Fergie singing half the verses with Michael…well, ’singing’ may not be the best word for it.

“Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ 2008″ with Akon is also a strange breed of remix. Akon sings the majority of the song, included new verses he’s written.

“Billie Jean 2008″ as remixed by Kanye West features very few changes, other than a slower tempo and a cut and paste version of the original song.

Overall, Thriller 25 is not a satisfying project, but it’s radio-friendly, so that’s nice for a change.

What I’m most excited about is the promotion: a mini-tour, a rumored appearance at the Grammys, a rumored stint on American Idol. We’ll see what really happens, though.

We’re in Columbia right now. Actually, I’m in Columbia and Dave is down in the low country visiting with his grandmother. It’s been a nice break from work these past 7 days, but I don’t look forward to dealing with whatever has piled up on my desk at the office.

Looks like the semester wrapped up well. One more grade to go (so far I have an A- in 2 of my three classes) and it’s in a class where I still feel like I could’ve done a bit more work, both in terms of participation and my final paper. We’ll see…

The Iowa Caucuses are next week. It begins!

Little-known fact: Jessica Simpson has never won or even been nominated for a Grammy. Britney Spears has at least won one for Best Dance Recording (“Toxic”). Something to think about…

As her direct-to-DVD movies, “Blond Ambition” and “Major Movie Star,” enter and immediately exit the public consciousness, we should ask ourselves if Jessica Simpson has ever touched our lives in any significant way or if she really has any legitimate talent. Granted, she can sing big and loud. But she couldn’t interpret a lyric to save her life (let alone write one). She oversings every word of every song, and in doing so, renders each recording “un-sing-along-able,” preventing her from having any true hit songs (defined by me as a tune permeating the zeitgeist and dissipating only over a long period of time).

Jess, maybe you should’ve stayed with Nick after the divorce, a la Sonny and Cher. They knew to keep the business going long after the love had died. The money was a sure thing!

And frankly, not to be a snob (but I so am), the fact that Christina Aguilera has sustained as long as she has is also a mystery to me. We get it…it’s Christmas. Why do you sing like it’s never going to snow again so we should have sex with it?!?!

Auuuuuuuuuggggh!

Huckabee wrote the following in a 1998 book called Kids Who Kill: “It is now difficult to keep track of the vast array of publicly endorsed and institutionally supported aberrations—from homosexuality and pedophilia to sadomasochism and necrophilia.”

1998. Really. 19…98.

“I think I’m stronger than most people because I truly understand the nature of the war that we are in with Islamo fascism. These are people that want to kill us. It’s a theocratic war. And I don’t know if anybody fully understands that. I’m the only guy on that stage with a theology degree.“–Huckabee in a November debate

L-I-A-R! That’s Commandment number 9, right Preacher?

Mike Huckabee only spent a year in seminary and has a bachelor’s degree in religion and a minor in communications. I’m not sure if lying about obtaining a degree to gain credibility on the subject of religious war (rather than reminding the room that you are an experienced Baptist minister) is something that Jesus would do.

I also would like to personally counter the nonsense idea that the war on terror is a “theocratic war.” Mr. Huckabee, that claim would only be true if both sides of the fight were theocracies. But they’re not. One side is a nation of 300 million people worshipping how they please and the other is a partially organized group whose membership professes a belief in an extreme version of a world religion but claims no specific home country. So let’s review: no theocracies. No theocratic war.

This guy is going to start putting out pictures of himself dunking Korans in prison toilets and high-fiving statues of the crucifixion. Pandering invocation of Jesus in a political ad, anyone?

No sir, I don’t like it…

Former President Bill Clinton said yesterday that the first thing his wife Hillary will do when she reaches the White House is dispatch him and his predecessor, President George H.W. Bush, on an around-the-world mission to repair the damage done to America’s reputation by the current president — Bush’s son, George W. Bush.

A spokesman for the George H.W. Bush was not immediately available to comment on whether the former president would chip in some diplomatic help after his son leaves office next year.

Ya gotta wonder if H.W. appreciates this statement or not. How are things between father and son lately?

Huckabee’s essentially the Republican frontrunner, Clinton’s losing her grip on the lead, Ron Paul will finish the quarter with the biggest fundraising haul of any of the Republicans, John Edwards is still a phony, John McCain has disappeared from the media, Romney’s a bit less charming than he seemed a month ago, and the Iowa caucus is in two weeks.

It’s December 17: do you know where your voters are?

I’m 20 pages away from the end of Richard Matheson’s book, but I went ahead and saw the Will Smith movie adaptation today with Dave, Erik and his roommate, Kate. As far as movies go, this one was pretty exciting and I did a lot of shaking and shouting. Dave noted afterwards, “I didn’t know Regal Cinemas was offering vibrating chairs now.”

As far as the movie tracking the book goes, there was none of that. The book lays out a few things pretty clearly, like the fact that the story takes place in Los Angeles (Smith’s adaptation takes place in New York), that Robert Neville (Smith’s character) is a tall blond man of German descent who works at a factory (Smith’s version finds Neville working for the CDC, and is conveniently immune to KV, the virus responsible for wiping out much of mankind), that Neville’s canine companion, an injured mutt, shows up at his house in a surprise twist (Smith’s Neville is caring for a purebred German Shepherd he’s had since its birth), and that the undead antagonists are well aware of Neville’s address and attempt to assault him there every night (Smith’s Neville keeps his location secret for much of the film). So that’s a little disappointing…

But go see this movie. Of all of the apocalyptic virus movies (see “Stephen King’s The Stand,” “28 Days Later,” “Shaun of the Dead,” “Omega Man,” etc.), this one has the highest production values and the best captured emotional anxiety. It’s hard to deny that “I Am Legend” (2007) is yet another vanity picture for Hollywood’s now-invincible leading man ($77 million this weekend, a personal best for Mr. Smith), but he does actually have the capacity to carry the picture almost single-handedly. Kudos!

Rating: B+

I don’t know how many “male enhancement” posts I’ve had to delete since I started this website. Probably a couple hundred! What’s up with that!?